The doorway of being despitefully used
I had sought to understand the Spirit, yes of Jesus and Moses and all that knew the Spirit and to understand what was real about those that went before us and why we ended up with what we ended up with. For each of them had experienced “the Cup" and each in their own way.
I knew that I had to give YOU/my life this anger from being despitefully used. I needed to have the joy of life that made things work. For holding the pain and anger began to show a toll of negative synergy and synchronicity. Even though I tried my hardest it seemed that life was working against me. I could not even fix a flashlight which when I felt joy seemed to be magic for me to fix anything. But in this pain the door seemed to be blocked. I needed to be alone as even those closest misunderstood what I was feeling. I knew it was my pain and energy that was creating this as in the pain and suffering of life’s experiences I had grown to begin to grumble and like the poetry of the Israelites in the wilderness that was a big no no in my belief aobut good things coming. I had to get tto joy but the pain and anger oof having been setup and used to communicate what they wanted others to believe. Like the way they came in with the express intent to start a fight and then say to those others that also wanted me out so that they could manipulate and with even the moderators help and compliance make it look like they needed it to look so that the folks would react how they were manipulated to act. But they did not know that the Spirit already knew this and knew exactly how to handle it and use it to write on my heart what the Separation is with humans.
So anyway, Knowing that I had to let go of the pain so I would start new with the Spirit I went through an experience that I had gone through before. I found that I could not stop thinking and stumbling like on the road to the cross. I needed to jolt myself out of thinking about them and what they did to me. I found that since it was impossible to stop thinking about it without just stopping thinking. And that is how I found to only feel,,,,(like the moment of death when even words were taken) well because You know how you want to feel. I began to feel everything that I wanted to keep, and appreciate everything that I wanted to draw to replace this death of thinking. And that is when things began to go right again. After the affliction, after the tribulation, after...being reached to the heart.
Thank YOU
Here it was, what humans could not interpret their way to doing, but the Spirit knew how to "hit the mark" in the heart, this was exactly the “true intention of the heart of Jesus” Humans could not interpret their way to love and seeing even those that dispitefully used You according to love. It was wanting to feel good with YOU/my life.
And then as I let go of thinking and wanted what I had sought my whole life which was experience with the Spirit and according to these “True intentions “ that each of those that had true experience with Spirit possessed. This was THE POSSESSION to be favored.
Each blue butterfly, each fresh and new form that YOU came to me began to fill the emptiness that things and food and relationships never really filled. YOU became my water and my bread. Having this experience again recently was necessary in order to communicate what it is that needs to be said at this moment. Until YOU are able to say Blessed is She,,, who nailed me to this Tree. That means those on that forum that wanted to make it look a certain way and used YOU to convey what they wanted others to see You as. These knew it was their intention to do this but from their perspective they are going to show You what they can do. It is with truth that You can thank them through the Spirit which brought You to this point of understanding. That those that went before us endured this while reaching to each of You and so through the intentions of what the SPIRIT went through as he is the one living this experience through You, well he has always been slain from the foundation of “this world”, this world is not the planet, it is the world of thinking and manipulating reality through doing rather than through the SPIRIT which is the only way to enter in and make it PerfECt. So having endured this we come to understand why they were given something to which the INTERPRETATION WITHOUT THE SPIRIT WOULD LEAD T THEIR PERSONAL DESOLATION if they did not turn to allowing the Spirit to do it through them. Why nothing that has been created through us needs to go away except You cannot begin to allow Spirit to operate this life through You. To first go and fill the hive with honey without first going to the Spirit always leads to Your death through separation and low and behold the Spirit given the nectar to his own. Well it is most important that You do not copy or imitate this but rather that it be done through the willingness of the heart to know YOU life and put YOU and the truth that YOU give to me first. In doing so everyone would be like a different creature as what each is given from the Spirit and believed would be personal to that life.
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