My Meaning of Love
After 13 years of Synchronicities my life took on a very big change with "She, (my life) is even now at the door". That was the message of the synchronicities in Jan 1993. My heart was circumcised by loss. After loosing all that was close to me my life began to come to me in many forms, the first was the teaching that there has always only been you and I. Not just my life and I, but an understanding of why it was said by Jesus, you do it unto the least of these you have done it unto me. I had sought to know the True Intentions of the heart through ATTENTION to SPIRIT, I learned a lot until the day my heart was broken which is when the real story began
I was heartbroken and could not trust anyone as the person I had trusted betrayed me and I could not accept any interpretation about life, I knew I had to get it from this stream of synchronicities that had taught me so much up until then.
Once I let there ONLY BE YOU and I, MY LIFE I learned to see YOU in everything and in the others that came to make up my world. There is ONLY YOU and I and this Veil of Interpretation which is only separating us. When I saw ONLY YOU/MY LIFE I drew to me exactly what I needed, and though those I met were wild, they were perfect for that moment as the SPIRIT led me to KNOW YOU. Liberal or Conservative no longer existed,,, for there was only YOU and I, MY LIFE
Attention to YOU/MY LIFE through synchronicity keeps me focused in the right direction and away from judging others to only seeing YOU through my wild heart/(dna) Love is now just between YOU and I and I share this love with those around me. Romance with a person mirrors this love and how I interact with my partner is how I am to see the world.
Excerp from Wild Hearted Romance with SPIRIT
In the beginning I
was called Adam which means Earth
I was alone and like
a dream you came out of me
In
my loneliness, in my bewilder- ness, through my broken heart, YOU came
The Story of StephenTree
In those
days, everyone seemed strange. And the fearful, they gathered together in what
they called churches and denominations and countries though their hearts were
often separate from each other they gathered together. There came a man out of
the wilderness, the strange,.. they thought he was strange, and the fearful of
course feared him.
At night
this man would light a candle, and incense on a small table and listening to
music of any type pleasing. He would wander around the table dreaming. Lost in
wonder he was to find his life hidden in his moments, in a reality he came to
refer to as
Romance in Spirit
In my loneliness, in my bewilder- ness, through my broken
heart, she (life) came.
This is the
story of StephenTree, who spending days at home alone without opening the front
door came to know his life in the uniqueness of the spirit that is life.
There is only you and
I , my life
He does not
write in the normal fashion of the day, and the veiled sometimes have
difficulty understanding him. But what he has to say has astounded many who
have met him, and changed many of their lives. This is the story of the spirit
that is StephenTree.
.”
When through a misunderstanding I found myself in jail for three days and also
on the road to a divorce again I felt as though my life was over in spite of
all that I had been shown by spirit in the past twelve years. I just could not
understand why. Before this occurred I was repeating what a deeper layer of
myself was saying. “I am he who lays his life down and I am he who will raise
it back up again.” Let me transport you to the beginning of this adventure. I
found myself sitting in the waiting cell by myself. Having never been in jail
before this was extremely stress inducing, together with the loss of my best
friend on earth, my wife, and the daughter I had stayed home and raised. I had
never felt so alone in my life. The synchronicities that I had been
experiencing for twelve years had taught me much yet I felt abandoned in this
cell. I wish to express these aspects of my emotional state so that you might
see what I was to experience. It is not the scripture that is the word of God
but the spirit and context to which it is given. It was written, “The word is
very near to you, even in your mouth and in your heart.” ‹’Once again I am
shown another aspect of this mystery ‹’The smallest of points altars entirely
the largest of equations and renders all interpretations meaningless. While
sitting in the cell I felt what I wanted to occur. The feeling could be
embodied in the statement.. Turn the tables. The spiritual archetype of
resurrection was definitely needed here. As I wandered in circles in the cell I
continued to express the emotion, (words are not as powerful as feeling) turn
the tables...turn the tables...turn the tables. Later I was transferred to the
B block and made some acquaintances there. I spent most of my time alone in the
two-man cell thinking and feeling. Then started the synchronicities. (
Synchronicities were coincidences that I had been taught to recognize). Walking
in circles in the cell I spoke only within myself. The men playing cards on the
table on the first floor of the large room were oblivious to my intent. I
continued to express. turn the tables over and over. All of a sudden a young
man who must have been loosing at cards jumped up on the cement table and
yelled loudly and with much emotion. THE TABLES ARE TURNED. I ran to the rail
and looked down at the men below as the man who yelled jumped back down with
his cards in his hand and proceeded to win the hand. I looked up at the TV that
was mounted on the wall just as the animated commercial of the resurrection
scene was being displayed. The date was march 1 1993. I knew that all things
were sanctified to my use when it felt right. So I went downstairs and got the
newspaper off the table and read the horoscope. ‹’--------------- ‹’ It does
not seem so now but you will come out on ‹’ top in the end. ‹’ Legal matters
will be dispatched with relative ease ‹’ Spruce up powerful friendships are on
their way. ‹’---------------- No longer do I call you slave but friend. Jesus I
took a piece of paper and wrote down all the things that were happening and
began to write what I wanted. I want my baby and my home I want my baby and my
home I want my baby and my home The second day I waited till 3:30pm to find out
that I had my home because she had moved out. And that I would be able to see
my baby as much as I wanted to. Upon getting out of jail I felt a new
appreciation for life and freedom. I went to the mall and bought a Victorian
Cameo key chain because I felt I was about to meet a girl named Victoria. I had
had many synchronicities about this and ran into several small children named
Victoria. Everywhere I went for two days I was running into Cameo’s. At this
time I did not know the significance of the Cameo however. I found myself out
just driving to do some thinking and was feeling a tremendous loneliness come
over me. I really felt like meeting another girl that would help me get over
the pain of what had happened and help me start new. I knew however that that
indeed was the wrong thing to do. I had begun to refer to spirit in the
feminine sense at this time. Driving in the truck I turned on the radio I had
in the seat next to me and the song said Fill up the tank and go for a ride. I
stopped at the Tom Thumb store I was passing and put fuel in the truck as I was
on empty. I continued driving north on highway 87 out of Milton and passed
Whiting field. Off to the right I saw a sandy basin that looked as though it
were a river that was dry at this time. I found a dirt road and pulled in. I
began to travel up a path when I heard rifle shots in the distance and just
after hearing the shots I came up upon a snake in my path. A path went off to
the right around the snake and away from the shots. I climbed down into the
basin and began to walk south. The basin felt so empty that I began to think
about the children of Israel as they traveled through the wilderness. The place
was so barren and lifeless yet something was definitely there. All of a sudden
the lonely feelings swept over me as never before in my life. I could not stop
crying as I wandered the emptiness. Tears flooded my eyes and I began to cry
out Girl, Girl why have you forsaken me. I came up on a cave that was open on
the top and went back in the cave. Again thoughts of Moses in the wilderness
flooded my mind as I cried out Girl, Girl where are you girl. The sides of the
cavern were layered and I began to feel the heart of girl. She was a
blue-layered pearl and her loneliness was a gift to me. Images of the proton
and the electron and a love affair between them. This is my gift to you.
Emptiness. Poetry I had never heard before flooded my mind ‹’ You thought you
were alone when you let your tears fall but you were in my heart the Vacuum
which ‹’drew you to me. The heart is a layered rose and the fragrance can draw
the love you seek. Here, dig here for the treasure you seek. So I began to dig
in the ground, up popped the ugliest small stone I had ever seen. Where is the treasure,
I ask my heart. This is it, as this stone appears to be formless and void so is
the beginning of a pearl. You will see, my love will come in waves, to layer
this pearl. Many more feelings were processed that day and I knew in my
loneliness and emptiness I was not alone. Leaving the sight I drove back to
Milton and noticed many signs that had roses on them. Everywhere I turned were
roses that day. Layers, pearls, roses, huh. That evening I went to the beach to
think and came up on a beach bar that had karaoke that night. I went in and
enjoyed the company of the people there and was talked into singing a song. I
looked through the book they handed me and saw immediately the song “The Rose”.
I remembered hearing the song before and knew it was the spirit that I was
experiencing. I sang the song and knew it wasn’t me singing it. There were
tears in my eyes and the song poured out of me. “The soul afraid of dying can
never learn to live.” I could not believe that the people actually clapped
during the middle of the song. I knew it was the passion that had served my
life so many times before. The next day I woke up and went to town to walk and
think. Spirit always takes whatever is on my mind and turns it into the next
step. Ohh she’s cute, flirting, yea it’s sort of like walking in a new place
and feeling the vibes or spirit that is there and then allowing myself to
operate in that same spirit. So the girl is really flirting with herself
because what you are saying is what her web of intent is drawing.
I
found myself in the parking lot across from the Cisco restraunt in Milton, Fl.
And I am letting go of the pain of loosing and focusing my intent in joy and in
this moment in order to let the moment take me to something wonderful. As I
walk across the lot I see a rose on the ground, a plastic rose, as I lift it to
look at it I notice another rose on the license plate between the cars. As I
walk across the lot I see three cars with roses hanging from the mirror. I
walked around the Waffle House Restraunt to the video store and there on
special on a big poster held by a eisel is a large picture of a rose and the
name of the movie was Fragrance of the Heart. (Apr 1993). Cool like the roses
and all I encountered yesterday north of Milton yesterday. I leave the video
store and walk about a block to a gift store across from Blossman Gas. and walk
in. I am just feeling my way around. I feel as though I should be looking at
something on the shelves in order not to solicit questions from the woman at
the counter. I walk directly to a counter and just stand there not even looking
at the shelf. Something tells me... or rather I feel to focus at what is
directly in front of me. Ohh, it is a heart shaped potpourri dish with a cover
that has holes in it so that the fragrance may come out. Wow dude, cool. I am
off again feeling all that I have come across today. I feel that this
information is speaking on a multitude of levels or layers of heart. I cross
Stewart street and begin to walk up the alley on the railroad tracks thinking I
will walk to the Librairy. Several bees begin to buss around my head and as I
feel this situation in context I see myself as a tree, like the DNA tree. All
of a sudden the whole poem comes to me in feeling, not in words and I begin to
translate or break down the seed feeling into parts.
The heart is a rose, and the fragrance can draw anything
you want.
As it was in the
beginning my love
When I was the
honeybee and you were my apple tree
For then, it was the
fragrance of your heart that drew me to you
Remember we let the
sea swells rise into the air, we let the mountains crumble we did not care, for
I was your honeybee and you were as my apple tree
I was the prince, I
was your wizard, I was your “lion of Judah”
Anything you wanted I
brought it to you.
There has always only
been, you and I, my love
This
was the spirit of this day; I was so powerfully devastated by the pain that was
the decay of an old life that it required enormous passion to let go and the
passionate focus on the new life that was growing in me. Through the work of
spirit my feelings were held on the desired outcome instead of the problems.
After fiddle farting in the library for ten minutes where I borrowed pen and
paper and wrote the poem down, I left and walked back across Stewart Street. As
I walked down the street I noticed a store that I had never been in before. It
looked like a house is probably why I never visited it before. The sign outside
said Gift Shop so I went in. It smelled lovely in this shop and I immediately
noticed that they made potpourri here. Upon entering a side room I was welcomed
by yet another surprise. The whole room was dedicated to Honeybees. There were
wax figures all over the walls and books about raising Honeybees. Other rooms
had bath beads and other fragrant items. I went home and began the usual ritual
I have in the evening that gets me in touch with spirit. I dim the lights and
light candles. This I found allows the mind not to be distracted by images in
the room in a manner that would break my connection and or concentration. I put
a poster board on the small table in the middle of the room and begin to play
any music on the radio that FEELS right. After dancing, feeling, and writing
down whatever feel right I ended up with the following chart. ‹’BABY COME ON,
FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED ‹’this ain’t no way to leave the broken hearted ‹Š ‹’I
live for your love and you for mine ‹’Here comes something walking down the
street pretty soon we’re gonna meet. She he The allower The doer + - come to me
my love take my hand and together we will walk ‹’through the door -Excitement
-Passion When he and she meet they know it is right ‹’Make it real girl,,,you
are (This is my spiritual language for something coming as a lover, but not
necessarily a person) ‹’She wants me as bad as I want her ‹’The pain makes me
feel what I really hunger for ‹’TRUE ROMANCE, TRUE ROMANCE ‹’Hey girl, ALLOW it
to be. Stay always at the door with me. ‹’Surrender to her it is her dream!
I
was so alive that I could not get to sleep that night. I realized that in my loneliness I had found
True Romance. I went to sleep late that night and woke expecting a new
adventure that next day. I was not disappointed at all.
The Poetry of Six Years alone starting in 1993
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